'Is It Worth It?'

“Is it worth it?” My wife, Genae, and I were recently asked that question. Has it been worth it to uproot our family and move them 8,130 miles from Eau Claire, Wisconsin, to another world in Papua New Guinea? Is it worth the frequent sicknesses, missing of family, threats of violence, and daily “otherness” that comes with stepping into another culture?

This particular day was already looking like a busy call shift. I walked over to the operating room to do a C-section, but a nurse stopped me and told me that I needed to go to the emergency room. In a neighboring province, a helicopter had crashed with six people inside. The first two victims were just arriving in the ER.

Lord, help me. I can't be in two places at once! I said a silent prayer and went to the ER to assess the situation. Thankfully, both patients were stable, and their trauma was not as bad as I had expected. I found my other colleague who was working that day. I let her know about the ER situation and I hurried off to the OR.

Is it worth the frequent sicknesses, missing of family, threats of violence, and daily “otherness” that comes with stepping into another culture?

I went to the bedside of a little 6-month-old named “Blessed.” I glanced at her chart. She was febrile and had a high heart rate. I talked to her mom, who told me that Blessed had been sick with a fever and vomiting for a few days. Today, however, Blessed was no longer nursing and was not responding.

I took a close look at Blessed. Her eyes were closed, but when I opened her eyelids, I could see twitching eye movements to the left. I looked at her hands. Every few seconds her right hand would briefly flex, as if she were trying to grab something. These subtle findings suggested that she was having continuous complex partial seizures. I wondered how many hours she had been seizing.

A nurse then skillfully started an IV in Blessed's hand. It is no easy feat to find a tiny vein in a tiny hand! With the IV in, we gave Blessed antibiotics, fluids, and medications to stop her seizures. Next, I slipped a small needle between the lumbar vertebrae in her back, in search of a minute space from which to collect a sample of spinal fluid. Soon, droplets of cerebrospinal fluid fell into a collection tube, like a leak from a slowly dripping faucet. Blessed's seizures continued, so we started more medications. I sent the spinal fluid sample off to our lab and went to see more patients.

As I looked at this frail little 6-month-old, who was still intermittently seizing, and saw her mom stooped over her, face creased with worry, my heart ached. Why, God, might this little one's life be cut so short?

Thirty minutes later, our lab brought back the results from Blessed's tests. Her spinal fluid had abundant gram-positive cocci, a type of bacteria, and thousands of white blood cells, her body's attempt to stave off the intruding infection. Blessed had bacterial meningitis. An infection had started somewhere in her body, and then spread to the fluid surrounding her brain and spinal cord.

The mortality from bacterial meningitis is high. Especially in an infant who is already having continuous seizures from the infection. Sometimes, those who do survive are left with permanent brain injury. As I looked at this frail little 6-month-old, who was still intermittently seizing, and saw her mom stooped over her, face creased with worry, my heart ached. Why, God, might this little one's life be cut so short? Before admitting Blessed to our pediatric ward, I prayed for her. I took mom's hand and explained how serious Blessed's illness was and tried to prepare her for the worst.

During the next several weeks, I cared for Blessed every day on our pediatric ward. I talked to her mom, who told me that she had tried to get pregnant for years and had not been able to. She had many miscarriages and infertility until she finally gave birth to this little girl, whom she named “Blessed.” Blessed continued to have seizures and was essentially unresponsive. We supported her little body with fluids, antibiotics, oxygen, and medications to prevent seizures. I prayed for her and with her mother multiple times.

Is it worth it? Life here has its ups and downs. ... But when I think of a mother who is caressing her precious 6-month-old, it is worth it.

After a few days, Blessed woke up. After a few more days, her seizures slowed down. After a week, she started to nurse again. Every day, Blessed made a little bit of progress, and I became more and more hopeful. Finally, after three weeks in the hospital, she was completely seizure free, meningitis free, and I couldn't tell she had ever been sick. I took a picture with her, her mother, and her auntie the day she left the hospital. Her mother gave permission to share her story. “Blessed.” What a fitting name.

“Is it worth it?” Life here has its ups and downs. If I evaluate our time based on how I am feeling and how I am doing, I don't always know how to answer that question. But when I think of a mother who is caressing her precious 6-month-old, it is worth it. When I reflect on how God has worked in and through us, for His glory, it is worth it. It is worth it to be part of a team of doctors, nurses, and staff, that every day are making a real difference in the lives of others. It is worth it, and we are BLESSED.